A common thing I hear from authors, online marketers, and entrepreneurs is that they want to be introduced to person X, or wish they could meet a certain person.
Usually, the person has something this person wants (money, knowledge, experience, relationships, special talent, etc..)…or they perceive they do. I’ve made it a career of connecting dots extremely fast in life and it ALWAYS involves building relationships with other people.
However, I don’t consider myself to be a networker or connector. I’m ONLY interested in relationships with people I can be:
- completely transparent with
- myself 1000% and never have to apologize for it
- create value for the other person…for the long term
- learn from and have synergy
Next, I don’t want to wait my entire life to then build these relationships…I strategically leap to the front of the line AND lead with Value.
Years ago, from stage, Nido Qubien, said that real power in business and in life is “ACCESS”. The ability to simply pick up phone, or text, or show up and have the person respond is more powerful than knowledge or money.
However, this comes with a STRONG warning. There is a right way to do it- which is uncommon… and a wrong way to do it- which is what 99.9% of people do.
Let me give you a couple specific examples: Recently, I made a full decision to finalize my book “Art of Time Collapsing” and focus the majority of my time interviewing high level guests for the “Ed O’Keefe Show”.
It’s a part of my own journey and now at the age of 40, growing a couple businesses to 7 figures, then my supplement business to over 8 figures, it’s time for me to start teaching again.
My topics for the show will range from Money, Entrepreneurship, Coaching, Mental Toughness, Nutrition, Anti-aging, and Spirituality.
I created a list of my top guests that I didn’t know yet, but I wanted to interview.
Here were a few:
Com Mirza: the $500 Million Dollar Man
Mark Divine, Creator of Sealfit and Kokoro camp.
Lewis Howes, author and top podcast: School Of Greatness.
Here’s how I put myself in a position to gain access with each of these tremendously busy and in-demand guys.
First, I found out Com Mirza was speaking at an event in Curacao. Coincidentally, I came across an invitation that they were looking for another speaker. So, I raised my hand and flew halfway around the world.
Why? Well, of course I like creating value on stage, but I also knew that I could get access to Com and get an interview with him. (click here for Full Interview)
Now, here’s what is VITAL.
I “could” have hit up Com and asked/begged and pleaded to have him on my show. That would work, but my positioning would have been one as a “taker”. Hand is out, cup is empty.
Instead, when Com offered a 1 day mastermind where he would coach us on some of his methodologies, I bought the day. I think it was $3K or $5K.
My job: Be a great student. Do what he says. Separate myself from other people based on my actions…and supporting the other mastermind members. Simple right? Be a GIVER.
This is so obvious, but trust me when I say, this is not what people do when they feel they “need” or “want” something.
When Com and I were together it flowed easily. He’s an awesome guy. Did a great interview and I would consider us friends.
Mark Divine has been a “virtual mentor” of mine for years now. Ever since I saw the special about Kokoro
Again, I could have reached out to his office and simply asked for an interview. A lot of authors do interviews when promoting their books. However, that’s not how I want to be perceived.
I want to create value wherever I go…and have people leaving my presence with a fuller cup than I have…even if they are being more of the “giver”.
So, how do you get access to a guy like Commander Divine as well as have his respect.
Simple. Do the shit less than 99.99999% of the population will do. His Kokoro camp.
Yep, I paid the tuition. Most importantly, did the work. Practiced his Integrative Methodologies and 5 Mountain Theories and became a “Black Shirt”, which is a Kokoro Graduate with my other classmates. It is a true HONOR.
Anyhow, when I “ask” for an Interview at this point, it flows way more naturally. There’s a shared groundwork experience that makes everything easier. You can read each other’s energy and see behind the curtain a bit.
The “secret sauce” is simple: be yourself and 100% transparent.
High level, truly grounded and awesome people will love your “realness”, and if you aren’t…they’d see through it anyway. If people don’t like your “realness” of being yourself…they are doing you a favor when it’s a mismatch.
Trust me. No matter what your perceived “need’ prior to your encounter with someone you think you would like to meet; if it’s ‘off’…or doesn’t flow…or you expected a better connection: just move on.
Don’t be like the character in Eminem’s song: “Stan” lol
Coincidentally, during my research on Kokoro Camp, I came across Ben Greenfield’s work. He had 3 awesome articles about preparing for Kokoro; Laughing Yoga, Hyperoxygenation, Navy SEAL Workouts And More! What To Expect And How to Prepare For the SEALFIT Academy.
SEALFit Academy. Part 1 is here. and Part 3 is: 26 Mile Hikes, Surf Swim Torture, and 9 Ways To Get More Tough.”
Ben is a beast, world-class ultra-endurance, Iron Man, and now Spartan Athlete…as well a foremost expert in Human Optimization. Ben did an awesome interview with Coach Divine and on Brian Rose’s London Reel.
I wasn’t thinking: “I need to get Ben on my podcast”, but I was thinking that I wanted to pick his brain. The good news for me is that he offers 20 minute and 60 minute consultations. I paid for an hour of his time, which was an investment $597 bucks or so.
He was completely cool… gave me great insights and once again greases the wheels for the next encounter. Which for us, was at Kokoro 40. He was an intern coach and I was a student. There’s no better environment to see people’s true selves in an environment where you have ZERO choice, but to be who you are at your highest self.
Sidenote: I pissed on myself literally within 10 minutes of getting getting kicked out of a van and told to start running up a dirt hill very early in Kokoro lol. That was just one of many many times. In fact, I almost piss myself while in line at Starbucks now.
Anyhow, when I invited Ben to be on my show…we now had a ton of shared references. It sets the right tone. In a moment, I want to talk to you about the money component of this, because I already can hear some of you saying: “Yeah Ed, that’s nice that you can pay to get access, but that’s just crazy to spend that type of money.” I’ll answer this and tell you why you are thinking completely wrong:-0
Last example came this past week, when a friend of mine told me that Lewis Howes was getting ready to launch his book with the goal of getting on the New York Time Best Selling List. This is a monumental task and required support from a LOT of people to ensure that you hit your targeted number of books. Here are two articles from Tim Ferriss’ blog: How Bestseller Lists Work…and Introducing the Amazon Monthly 100 and How to Write and Promote New York Times Bestsellers: Tim Ferriss and Jack Canfield
As you can see, this is a science. So, Lewis was looking for people, usually who have client and customer lists, who would like to buy 250-1000 books to help bump the book count. The reason why you can “justify” such a large amount of book purchases if you have customers is:
“Wouldn’t you spend $20 on your customers who pay $XXX a year with you?”
The answer for smart business owners is: “YES”
However, when put in the context of asking you to: “Buy 1000 books.” You would instantly be like: “I’m not paying $19,000”.
So, then you ask: “Ed, why would you buy 1000 books and make the decision in less than 1 minute?”
Good question- and it allows me to wrap all of these points in this article about: “access”, relationship building, combined with ultimate power in life.
Obviously, I received access to Lewis Howes instantly the moment I wanted to buy the books, however that didn’t mean we were going to hit it off or connect. This just means a transaction was created.
However, my intuition was very clear with me about this move. So, it was easy to decide. Plus, Lewis is a high level athlete. I’ve worked with a TON of high level athletes…and “most” of the time…they are awesome guys or gals unless they exhibit certain patterns that I would call Yellow or Red Flags. (I’ll do a different post on this. It’s killer info).
Not putting the cart before the horse, but the access will repay itself in our relationship. He has experience in bookselling that I would like to have his perception on when I’ve completed my book. He has a killer podcast that he has grown from scratch, and overall is an awesome guy.
With all these guys, I will listen and look for ways I can solve some of their biggest challenges or opportunities they are looking to tackle.
How do I justify flying around the world, spending a $1700 and 3 days at a mini-hell Week Experience, $597/hour for world class nutrition/endurance advice, and $19,000 on books for a guy I don’t know?
First answer: it’s simple Math. If you are committed to be in “X” position at a future date and these relationships are on your goal list. Then you either: a. spend the next few years “hoping” someone might introduce you. Which you’ll have a shitty positioning and look like all the other sheep in the world looking to be fed grass.
If you are SERIOUS. Like No B.S. “This is the stuff I’m going to do with my life- PERIOD.” Then you must cultivate an attitude that says: I will do whatever it takes to make this happen…and do it in such a way that serves the highest good of everyone involved.
Then by “investing” in tuition/consulting/travel/ or books, you short cut years of trial and error, begging, and borrowing. That long and arduous path is MUCH more costly than leapfrogging to the front of the line through intelligent investing of your resources: time, money, thinking, effort, relationships, etc…
So, I’m not losing $19K…I’m saving months, years, and possible decades that would never happen, because while 100% of the world has the same opportunity…only .0000001% have taken action.
See a pattern?
You separate yourself from the HERD…by doing what they herd won’t do. These are just one of many “Time Collapsing” Strategies that work like Magic! Let me know what you think about this post!
Wanna Support Lewis Howes?
If you are interested in rare access to Lewis Howes and myself and me in a closed door hangout about how he has launched his book incredibly successfully…and has grown a killer info business as well, then let me know by PM’ing me on Facebook and I’ll connect you.
Here’s the deal: Your investment is: 250-1000 books.
$19 per book.
On the high side, that’s $19,000, which you can give to clients, friends, and or use as a premium for services you sell in order to get “access”.
I bought 1000. You can buy less, but the minimum is 250 and this opportunity only lasts for the next week. No pressure, but if you feel it’s a fit. Let us know.
Other Interviews You Would Like!
If you liked this article, then you’ll love the interviews I did with Com Mirza and Roland Frasier.
Com shares how he gained access to his Billionaire Mentor. Full Show with Com Mirza
In my interview with Roland Frasier, he talks about how he creates relationships to scale a business quickly! Full Show With Roland Frasier